Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry for your loss and hope that you are in better health. Just because you have other children does not mean that cannot grieve the loss of one person. People are so insensitive. Do they not have four grandparents? Is losing one grandparent insignificant because they have three other perfectly good ones? Absolutely not. It brings tears to my eyes that anybody can experience the loss of a child. When I was much younger, I experienced a miscarriage when I was just a few weeks pregnant. I was far too young to understand exactly what was going on with my body and never seeked medical treatment (which was very dumb on my part) but I didn’t grieve the loss until years later, which made it harder, and easier at the same time (I was too immature to face it head on and suppressed the emotions for four years). I seeked professional help from a psychologist and was able to properly grieve over the course of eight months. Even experiencing this loss, I really don’t know what to say other than “Are you alright?” or “How are you holding up?” -which to me is not really a good enough response… because obviously it isn’t well. I feel empathy for those who lose a child, and that is not by choice (abortion brings up a completely different issue– I know somebody who aborted after 7 months and I haven’t said a word to her). Your article has helped those dealing with a tough loss of a child, at any gestational age or even after they were born to start their healing process. The article about the loss of Michelle Duggar’s child is also beneficial as well. She encouraged those grieving to take pictures of their loved ones.

I would also add instead of buying things — don’t we all have enough stuff? — give people your time and create experiences. Getting together for dinner or a glass of wine or going to a museum or a hike means so much more than getting or giving something out of obligation.

Happy holidays and a magical new year to you and your family, Patricia.