For many women, the cessation of the monthly flow is often not enough to tell for sure whether they’ve reached that “time of life” or not. That’s why I, using the knowledge I’ve gained from obtaining my DFR (Doctorate in Failed Relationships), have provided you with this scientific checklist.

You will know you are in menopause if:

1) That ‘monthly bloating’ you get around your tummy lasts for two consecutive years or more, and is now additionally spreading to your hips and thighs.

2) You wake up one morning,…

We are supposed to be a nation of tolerance. If you criticise someone for being gay, for being fat, for being black or being female you will (quite rightly) cop a severe tongue lashing for your lack of empathy. However, apparently it’s quite okay to criticise people for being thin.

The phrase ‘real women have curves’ springs to mind. A lot of people have been saying it in response to Jennifer Love Hewitt’s bikini photos. Initially it sounds great, after all – real women are allowed to have curves and still be real women.  Huzzah! What…

January 2009

Dear Ms. Brazile:

You were the plenary speaker today at the Walden University residency in Dallas, Texas. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to come and speak to us. Your speech was, for the most part, entertaining and inspiring. However, I feel compelled to express some dissatisfaction with some of your chosen themes, or rather the inconsistencies within them.

Read the full article »

Photo by Miles Ranno

I’m the first to admit that I think high fashion is silly. One of my favorite magazines, Vanity Fair, is absolutely gorged with full-page ads for ostentatious brands like Fendi, Louis Vuitton and Versace, and I only tolerate them because they are what keeps the cover price in a somewhat reasonable range. I appreciate fashion from an artistic standpoint (Project Runway is probably the best ‘reality’ show I’ve seen), but the overall need to be chic – succumbing to fashion for fashion’s sake – seems like little more than an insipid hobby for those…

You know, we’re well past the age of hairy chests and gold chains, yet I still see men who cannot seem to grasp what the true nature of manliness actually is.  They do the most insipid things to appear virile and masculine, thereby succeeding only in revealing to everyone the basest aspects of being male. As a result, there are quite a lot of women in the world who think that good men simply don’t exist. If he’s not a cheater, then he’s an abuser.  If not that, then he must be either a drunkard or a pill-popper.…

I read an article recently, “Why McCain Should Worry Women” which brought to light that if women want to retain any power at all over their bodies, then they should not, under any circumstances, vote for John McCain.

Here’s an excerpt from the New York Times website, of Senator McCain’s exchange with a reporter in Iowa in March 2007:

Q: “What about grants for sex education in the United States? Should they include instructions about using contraceptives? Or should those grants follow George Bush’s policy, which is just to teach abstinence?”

McCain:…

I’m 28. It might not sound very old, but the thing is that it’s around this age that you start noticing that things are changing as you get older, and not always for the better:

Crinkly Lines

As I was putting on mascara the other day the dog was jumping up and down trying to catch a fly that was buzzing about just above his head. It was quite an entertaining sight and it made me smile. As I was smiling I turned back to the mirror to finish what I was doing and….SHIT.…