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Getting your head screwed on right is a lot of work. And as we all know, lying
in bed and hiding from the world doesn't help.
The first aspect I tackled was my heart. Spiritually, that is. I went to bed
Saturday night night thinking that I wouldn't go to church on Sunday. I was
tired... I wanted to sleep in. At 9:30 this morning my daughter’s little friends
rang the doorbell looking for her. I ignored it and they went away. But, at 10
am they tried again and I shuffled downstairs to let them know she wouldn't be
home until later that evening. Sigh. Okay God - You got Your point across.
Off to the shower I took myself.
The sermon today was about loving yourself. Ha. Very appropriate. The pastor
spoke of putting "motion" back into emotion. If you feel something, do
something about it. To love others, we have to love ourselves. To love God, we
must allow God to love us. It's a domino effect.
I was still sad, but felt moved by the sermon when I left church, like an aspect
of my heart healing again...one that has been raw for a long time. It got me
thinking to when I was happiest and most secure in my skin. It was right after
my separation, surprisingly. I was free of a toxic marriage, I was eating
healthy food, I was working out, and spending a lot of time in the sun. And I
was also going to church regularly. I looked and felt the best emotionally and
physically that I had in my life. I wasn't emotionally involved with anyone
except my children, I wasn't ready to date yet. My life was changing, but there
was a lot of inner peace in me about that change, because I had faith that
whatever life had in store for me, I could handle it.
In thinking about all of this, I decided to implement some of those things back
into my life today so I could hopefully attain some of that peace again.
First step... I joined a gym. Lifetime Fitness. I was a member there a couple
years ago when I was still married, so I knew the facility. It's a bit pricey, but I
think it will kill a couple of birds with one stone. I’d been considering moving
because I live in a landlord-owned townhouse, and I was missing some of the
amenities of apartment living, most significantly the pool and the fitness
center. However, I get a great rental rate and a lot of room in the townhouse,
and if I moved into an apartment community, it would be for significantly more
rent and less space. But I'd have access to a pool and fitness center on site.
But Lifetime Fitness gym has an awesome indoor and outdoor pool, as well as
a child care facility with indoor exercise equipment for the children... including
a climbing wall for my daughter’s age group. So, rather than move and raise
my rent, I pay a monthly fee to have access to the gym, childcare and pool. I
think it's a good move.
I worked out right after I signed up, and I have to say - after I did 2 miles on
the treadmill, 2 miles on the bike and then 50 crunches - I felt GREAT! Then I
sat in the sauna for about 15 minutes, followed by a shower before I went to
pick up the kids from their dad’s. I must admit, I felt so refreshed and proud of
myself. I really hope this is a new routine and trend for me.
So getting my head screwed on tighter is as easy as trying to get my body and
soul healthier and ‘tighter’ too.
Oh and I finally sucked it up and took my Celexa. Damn that pill, but it does
make me feel better.
June 2008
in bed and hiding from the world doesn't help.
The first aspect I tackled was my heart. Spiritually, that is. I went to bed
Saturday night night thinking that I wouldn't go to church on Sunday. I was
tired... I wanted to sleep in. At 9:30 this morning my daughter’s little friends
rang the doorbell looking for her. I ignored it and they went away. But, at 10
am they tried again and I shuffled downstairs to let them know she wouldn't be
home until later that evening. Sigh. Okay God - You got Your point across.
Off to the shower I took myself.
The sermon today was about loving yourself. Ha. Very appropriate. The pastor
spoke of putting "motion" back into emotion. If you feel something, do
something about it. To love others, we have to love ourselves. To love God, we
must allow God to love us. It's a domino effect.
I was still sad, but felt moved by the sermon when I left church, like an aspect
of my heart healing again...one that has been raw for a long time. It got me
thinking to when I was happiest and most secure in my skin. It was right after
my separation, surprisingly. I was free of a toxic marriage, I was eating
healthy food, I was working out, and spending a lot of time in the sun. And I
was also going to church regularly. I looked and felt the best emotionally and
physically that I had in my life. I wasn't emotionally involved with anyone
except my children, I wasn't ready to date yet. My life was changing, but there
was a lot of inner peace in me about that change, because I had faith that
whatever life had in store for me, I could handle it.
In thinking about all of this, I decided to implement some of those things back
into my life today so I could hopefully attain some of that peace again.
First step... I joined a gym. Lifetime Fitness. I was a member there a couple
years ago when I was still married, so I knew the facility. It's a bit pricey, but I
think it will kill a couple of birds with one stone. I’d been considering moving
because I live in a landlord-owned townhouse, and I was missing some of the
amenities of apartment living, most significantly the pool and the fitness
center. However, I get a great rental rate and a lot of room in the townhouse,
and if I moved into an apartment community, it would be for significantly more
rent and less space. But I'd have access to a pool and fitness center on site.
But Lifetime Fitness gym has an awesome indoor and outdoor pool, as well as
a child care facility with indoor exercise equipment for the children... including
a climbing wall for my daughter’s age group. So, rather than move and raise
my rent, I pay a monthly fee to have access to the gym, childcare and pool. I
think it's a good move.
I worked out right after I signed up, and I have to say - after I did 2 miles on
the treadmill, 2 miles on the bike and then 50 crunches - I felt GREAT! Then I
sat in the sauna for about 15 minutes, followed by a shower before I went to
pick up the kids from their dad’s. I must admit, I felt so refreshed and proud of
myself. I really hope this is a new routine and trend for me.
So getting my head screwed on tighter is as easy as trying to get my body and
soul healthier and ‘tighter’ too.
Oh and I finally sucked it up and took my Celexa. Damn that pill, but it does
make me feel better.
June 2008
| Tighter (Coping with Depression, Part II) Miranda Krebbs |
| Email this writer your thoughts on depression at: mirandakrebbs@harlotssauce.com |